There is something special about friendship as we get older I think.
When I was a child you could be a kid across the street and we could have been the best of friends simply because we lived across the street and yay! Isn’t that convenient and yay we could see each other whenever we wanted and we wouldn’t even have to walk far!
But as we become older and go through the wondrous thing called life,some of us we become less and less willful to make new friends. It’s as if our faith in humanity has been so bruised and battered through life some of us we forget how to connect with someone one on one or have a coffee with them.
Which is why some of us we have had the same friends we had since we were 5 and it's also why some of us I think never really evolve through life.
Friendship is a really important part of evolving as a human. It’s how our minds sometimes feed each other is from the learning's of someone else experience. From shopping trips and coffees and sometimes just laying about in the grass doing nothing at all but looking up into the blue clear sky together. Our souls they feed of these things.
Often we think of our partners as our soulmates but seldom do we think our friend who gives us advice after a one night stand or looks after us through yet another bad haircut is also one of our soulmates. Our friends who soothes our egos when it is hurt and bruised. Friends who hug us with such warmth and love it is reminiscent of our mothers or fathers hugging out when we live away from them.
In a alien suburb where no one else might know you,your friends definitely do know you, when they come suddenly through the door with this weeks shows you gotta catch up on and a bottle of wine to along with it!
It is through our friends we find our roots and sometimes grow our cultures and form communities when we are starting all over again in a brand new land where we might know the language or its people.
My own mom relied on bounds and friendships when she was a newly married woman from Bangladesh and she had to move to Iran because my dad had worked there. When she moved their she didn't speak a word of Farsi (the national language of Iran) and she sat there alone crying sometimes while my dad would go out to work for the day sometimes in faraway towns. Then as time we went on she formed friendships with her neighbors, her neighbors friends and had a inner circle complete with weekly dinner and dance parties. Soon she didn't feel alone in this land with her two children anymore.
Years later when I had shifted to Australia from New Zealand I was once again in a new land without my will and it was a friend in high school that had suddenly asked me in my first day of high school here that had asked be, “how are you?’’ Which I perhaps inevitably responded with hugging him and bursting into tears because I had suddenly realized no one really through this transition of moving from one land to another ever asked how I was.
I still have strong bounds with these angels from high school who I occasionally meet for coffees and catch up.
When I was younger I never really wanted a girl gang,most of my friends were boys and I was of the mindset (with backup experience) that girls come with so much unwanted drama !!
But today I am fortunate enough to have 5 to 6 women who I have the privilege of calling my friends. Friends who come running when I need help curling my hair or am in need of some really good advice,have coffee with or watch a hindi movie with. Friends who make me giggle and smile when I want to do nothing but cry , friends who wake me up at 7 in the morning to do pilates with ,friends who I can be cranky around and they would not get offended at all. Friends who I can enjoy a calm silence within a occasional chaotic world.
Friends who I can lay on the grass and simply look up and stare at the clear blue sky at.